it is today.  I have no one to give a card to, to call, to tell them how much I love them.  my father has been gone 31 years and my step father gone 19 years.  I was young when my father died so I did not get to know him as an adult.  How I wish he had known me and Sam and the children. The same with my step father - he did not see any of the children grow up.  We do not know what we have until it is gone.  Both died from cancer - leukemia and prostate respectively.  It is a day like today when I wish I could go back to the past for a brief moment to tell them what has gone on, what has happened in my life, but mostly how much I love them and how important they are to me.
I do not know if either one is in heaven, but I am hopeful. 
in other places of the world a friend is wondering if her daughter is gay, a family with twins that are 14 yrs old had one of them die in a four wheeler accident, a family has a son they have not heard from in a while and do not know where he is, and a friend with a girl's home in Uganda is in desperate need of money and her own home for she and her four girls  ...and there is so much more. I wonder about the heartache of my small world, the pain that is going on that isn't seen or detected. 
So please pray for those mentioned and those we do not know about.  We finally have rain, a small amount, but it is rain!!!  blessings this week!!!

ahhhhh... it is June and I have ten weeks before I begin teaching again.  I have work to do for the new text books and changes in curriculum as well as several workshops. I know the summer will go very very fast. I have reading and writing to do as well AND the garden. Tomatoes and peppers are in, potatoes are up and the rhubarb is looking good enough to become a pie this week. 
It was a tough school year.  I am so saddened by the students that have no morals, no values, no ethics let alone no understanding of their spiritual needs.  They think only of themselves and use people like they are of no value.  I do have hope for next year's senior class, but I shall wait and see.  This year I learned that for the most part the parents of my students take no responsibility for their child, that the child is basically on their own and does what they please.  It is sad to see.  I do know that I am sometimes the first person that actually holds students accountable for their actions.
I got a treadmill this year too.... and I love it!!!!!  My plan is to use it everyday.  I have been surprised the speed I can get on it and how far I can walk on it.  I get more steps in than I did when walking outside. Got it from a friend at church that was having a big sale, it is a Proform 760.  Love it! Emmie uses it too.
more later... I need to get outside and work some more. blessings dear ones!!

hoping to get back to this... my little xanga.. and catch up with xanga friends.. and let you know how it is going here.  blessings for this day!!

it is Holy Week.  and I have the week off from teaching.  I do have class tomorrow night.  but hoping to get a few things done in the garden and maybe around the house. I have another large project due in 2 weeks for grad school, but that is doable i believe.
i haven't said much lately.  been very busy with work and class.  I found out today that my mother got divorced, moved to Akron (my brother bought her a house) and she left her x-husband in the condo with the electric turned off.  it has been 2 years since i have seen her or talked to her. 

I wonder how she rationalizes her behavior or her choices.  I am sure most of it is my fault.  and I can live with that because I know what the Truth is.

not on here much because of work and grad school.  today we have crazy weather here in Ohio.  wondering how the ones in the south are doing.  I am off to get some work done and will be back later.  stay safe!!

it is Friday nite.  usually i am out with Sam for our date but he took a group of middle school guys to a retreat this weekend in New York.  he will be home Sunday.  So, emmie and I went out to Olive Garden when she got off work.  I miss being on xanga. Miss my friends in the internet world. Hope all of you are well and safe and warm.  I have been busy with grad school.  this weekend is no different.  I have 5 chapters to read, 4 articles and 4 lectures to listen to.  plus a paper due on Monday.  i keep saying it will be worth it one day. and it will.  hoping the Lord will lead me to where I can help others. 
right now still teaching at the Career Center.  still have students who have horrible homes, students who think they don't need to study anything, students who refuse to listen. it is what it is. i have had some students that are now in college (2 or 4 year ones) that have called or messaged me on facebook to say how right i was and how they wished they had listened that last semester of high school in my class.  but one cannot help them to understand until they walk thru it, so i shake my head sometimes.  this year i actually have several senior students that i hope go to college and fail miserably.  i feel bad saying that, but i believe the only way they will learn any lessons is to fail and college is where they need to fail. 
and God is good to us in our little home.  we have food, a roof, the bills are paid, and we are not without the Lord's light.  there is no complaining or grumbling here.  I am hopeful all of you are the same.  blessings dear ones.

2012 is here.  Hard to believe that it is here, but I probably say that every new year.  but this year there is a different perspective. 
I went to the Abbey of the Genesee last week for three days.  I am not Catholic, raised high Episcopalian, now a Baptist.  There is something in the rhythm of the day there, the ritual of worship, the contemplative prayer, the singing of Psalms.  to take the time - 5 times a day to stop, to pray, to consider life and continually say thank you to the Lord.
Despite grad school, work, family life, children, the choices of others ~ this year I am going to try to stop, in every second of every moment to remember who He is and who I am in Him.  to always know that I am nothing without Christ and He cares for me, loves me, longs for my companionship like no earthly human being does. 2011 has been very difficult but I know He is teaching me, drawing me closer in ways that will help me seek Him out for strength and wisdom and love.

Thanksgiving here.  just home from the in-laws.  what is it about family?  and choices and life.  so hard these days, even for our children that have made poor choices in their short time.  food was good, conversation was interesting. I just keep praying.
praying.  for those with no one.  for those with no food.  for those stupid enough to think they have to go shopping on black friday. for those with addictions they cannot see. for those with such heavy grief.  for those with no thought of a Saviour.  for those that are in such great need. help me to see my job in this world for the Kingdom.
grad school is so much work.  i have no life, just my job and grad school.  grrrrr. looking forward to the Christmas holiday.  many blessings to all.

it is here... chilly, damp, grey.  I love the fall colors of orange, browns, reds, greens. and grad school is frying my brain cells.  but life is good, no complaints here.  blessings.

this once a month catching up is not going well.  i have a hard time reading everyone and then how do i catch you up with us?  biggest thing is my Sam is on a bike trip with other youth pastors raising money for the Joplin/Tuskaloosa tornado victims.  Today is the first day of the Present Hope tour.  45 miles today.  They have been training together in Joplin and seeing the devastation that unless you see it, we can't imagine it.  He said last night that it would be like our entire home town wiped out and nothing left behind.  I can't imagine this. 

grad school.  wellllll.... i need prayer for pathophysiology class.  it is so much information.
and for timing... to use my time well.  thankfully the garden is almost done which means canning is almost done.  i  have more veggie soup to can, some chicken to can, and i need to get the beef done, but we shall see.  oh, and apple pie filling. 

and emmie and i are having allergy troubles.  as are alot of my students.  which work is frustrating to me.  it is mostly administration.  i need to be alot more patient and uncaring about what they think.  my students are busy and learning and doing.

and life.  one day at a time.  i am hoping all of you are well.  i am sorry about not being on here, will try harder... maybe once a week.  so, have a good week!