HAPPY NEW YEAR!!  and it is so cool that the date is 1/1/11!!! we played WiiDance and talked too much and had soooo much fun!!!  more later!!!

So here we go.... I will post pics later... but the menu is soooo very exciting!! We are having a good friend of mine, Kelly and her husband Greg for the evening.  She has a birthday this next week as well. 2010 she turned 50 and on the same day she got her breast cancer diagnosis so she is looking forward to next year as this year has been full of chemo, radiation, hair loss and sickness.  I am making new and old recipes... our feast is appetizers and then desert with a few cocktails!!  and then champagne with Italian blood orange soda.
Fabulous menu for this evening is:

• Swedish meatballs in sauce
• Slices of roasted tomato/basil bread with mushrooms/onions/garlic (having been cooked in butter/vermouth/olive oil) toasted with mozzarella cheese
• Beef tenderloin rubbed with olive oil, garlic, kosher salt, ground pepper then baked, then sliced thin and served with horseradish sauce on thin slices of sourdough bread
• Port wine cheese spread and a Blue cheese Cheddar spread with Vivant crackers
• Roasted red pepper hummus with pecan crackers
• Black olives/ dill pickles

I am soooo excited.  Because then dessert is Julia Child's Vanilla Chiffon Roll!!!!!  I love that dessert.
and then I am making new things for New Years day too!!! 
What are you all doing tonight????

.... never seem to have an answer to them. but oh well... such is life, isn't it???  and people don't seem to react or act the way i anticipated.  off to bed!!!!!

I have been up for awhile.  thinking (not good), reflecting on life and 'stuff', praying, reading.  I wonder about this life on earth.  How did I end up here?  ( i know it is about my choices!).   The longing for the quieter, less rushed, less hassled life.  the yearning to run to the wilderness and be alone with garden, books, yarns, journals, and quiet.  I would not give up my children or the life lessons learned.  but the journey with people has not been to my liking.  if my husband should ever die i will not marry again.  i have 'lost' what i thought were friends over the years and have decided that relationships aren't worth it right now.  i have been in the church most of my adult life and it keeps getting harder ~ they keep walking all over me, trampling what i thought i had to give.  so i don't give right now in any aspect.  it is not easier now, and i wonder if 2011 is going to much more difficult.  the economy, prices of necessary material items, food, gas, the journey.  it appears to be like an icy morning ~ treacherous, slippery, potential for out of control falling and sliding.  it is the out of control that is scary to most of us, that keeps us from venturing out into the ice. not that i ever had much control to begin with.  it seems it doesn't matter what i think, and that is the growing up part on an icy morning. 

i have lots... but where to start??? so i am going to frost cookies and think about it!

headed north this morning for some special presents that I can only get at one store.  i love driving in the car with the music blaring, today it was several cd's. Britt Nicole, Mercy Me and Sara Groves.  i love the snow.  i don't know how people don't like it, especially in Ohio.... it is our lot in life ~ snow, blowing, cold, summer tornadoes, fall storms.  that is Ohio.  and today it was crisp, white, and blowing like sand across the road ~ whispie and white. i took my time and made it to the Lake, all frozen and white/grey/blue in color. found my little store, got my presents.  then stopped at the Stitchery store there... drooled over the threads and patterns... oh and I bought one! (hoping for several snow days to cross stitch).  it was a good morning. now i am back in my cozy warm home.... with tea and cakes. what are you up to????

Christmas 2010.  we added a future son into the family. I cooked a brunch of breakfast casserole (gluten free) with fresh fruits, cookies, and juices on the table as well as a most delicious Orange cake with Orange cream cheese frosting (also gluten free).  It was delicious even though the son wasn't too happy with no turkey. and we had snow in the yard with a light new snow on christmas Eve night. I still need to work on not staying up so late for several nights in a row. I got all my presents wrapped before the 24th this year, but I didn't get all my presents mailed before the 24th.  maybe next year. ... this Christmas .... so different from others.  the first Christmas without a Grandmother.  the first Christmas truly knowing my mother is gone from my life. the first Christmas that I didn't cook turkey and stuffing.  a different perspective about life and marriage and friends and family and the Church and my life.  it isn't about the stuff or being 'right' or knowing more or being the cutest/thinnest/prettiest.  life is so much more. and i am hopeful that future Christmas' will remain about each other. 

I cannot explain this past week.... so very busy.  Had a bake sale with my students on the 27th of November.  Didn't do too bad.  Then on the 4th went shopping with the seniors.  Got all the clothes needed for our Christmas family ~ 3 children and Mom and Dad.  They spent $210.10 that they had raised themselves.  Since then we had a bake sale at the local bowling alley and then another one today.  Took some students and got toys for the kids. We will get food next weekend and deliver on the 20th.  We are wrapping everything on the 13th in class.  (assuming no ice and snow)  
And this week was sophomore visitation.  At a career center it is when current sophomores come to visit 3 different labs in an attempt to decide if they want to come to the school.  We are a school of choice, so I work hard to recruit and my seniors are expected to 'sell' the lab.  It is alot of work and then we have a big open house for prospective students and parents.  This year I had clinicals late with my seniors so I had a 14 hour work day, plus the visits, plus getting ready for semester exams... and i am pooped. just plain pooped.
But we got our tree today.  it smells divine.  what is it about the Christmas tree that it smells so wonderful?  We will bring it in later and then when sarah is home next saturday we will decorate.  i can hardly wait. I have caramels cooking on the stove too.... i will pan them when done and then cut and wrap. 
and eventually i will read.  maybe sew some.  and maybe crochet. 

it has been a difficult week. a good friend of my sam's died..... cancer and diabetes, young @ 64.  and work has been incredibly hard. so much to do in such a short time.  clinicals for the seniors for nurse aide training, quizzes, tests, exams to finish writing, sophomore visitation, and then there is Christmas. 
life is short.  what we think is long is a whisper, a flash of light, a soft touch. the pain of this earth.... how does one understand?

sky is clear, sun is up, and the air is cold. 
house is warm, clothes are clean, food in fridge.
brisk new day