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Sunday, 01 November 2009
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from this summer.....
tonight it is clear and cold and the moon is gorgeous. i was going through some pics and found this from my hubby. i love the colors of the sky. tonight it was very pretty and now it is so clear and the little stars and planets are shining so brightly. what is it doing where you are?
i am hopeful for this week....alot to do not enough time...life here in our home. i posted sarah's birthday pics but didn't get andrew in any of them....so hopefully i will get one later. more later....
Friday, 30 October 2009
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trying to understand
it was a day yesterday and i am up really early because my brain won't stop which means my stomach and intestines are a mess.
a student of mine went out of control because of panic, anxiety, and fear. we will call her Lisa. she left school in a sheriff's car. Lisa has been a model student for the past 11 weeks. there has been no indication that she could potentially harm herself or any others. yesterday i saw what the lies of the system, the lack of caring from educators, the disease of mental health platitudes can do to a 16 year old. and i don't like it.
i feel so helpless. i feel like if and when she comes back she won't do as well because she believes she is a failure for her outburst. she has overwhelming shame and fear and no matter what i say or how well she does in class it will never be good enough.
and if i can't understand how can she?
Saturday, 24 October 2009
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a birthday.....tomorrow.
tomorrow is my Sarah's birthday....she will be 25 on the 25th.....she will be home with Andrew...the new young man in her life.....where does the time go? how does it go so fast? wasn't it yesterday i sat in my living room rocking her and nursing her and watching her sleep in my arms? wasn't it yesterday she got her first haircut, or her first tooth, or ate her first food, or said her first words? what happened to the time? my firstborn.....how does one explain what a child does to your life? or the feelings you have that you didn't know you could have? the pain the anguish the joy the blessings of love. how can one comprehend it all?
Friday, 23 October 2009
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friday night
oh it is friday evening.....still raining here in north central ohio, but slightly warm. it is quiet with one child working and the other one at a school dance. the older one is on her own...on a date. and i took the night off of stuff...work. have been reading some, made a pot of chicken soup from leftovers of the week, surfed the internet for some school stuff, and read some logs. what have you been up to??? -
oh my.....a week gone??
i sit here as it is raining outside...i had the day 'off' as yesterday was a 14 hour day at work with parent conferences last night. i had 10 students with parents which is 1/3 of my students and i was pleased. i am always wishing all of them would come, but they can't. i will send notes. and of course today is a crummy weather day BUT a day off. sam and i got the garden cleaned out this morning and bagged. then it started to pour. i have potatoes to get out of the garden yet, but they can wait.
i should be doing some other things around the house but i am sitting. the male/female cardinals are at the bird feeder, the black squirrel is in the tree and the trees are gold and gorgeous. so i am sitting. thinking. praying. wondering. later....blessings.
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